BILLY BOB RAE DIES FROM SHOCK

By Ron Munden

It is with great regret that I must report the untimely death of Billy Bob Rae in the early morning hours of December 27.   Details of his death are still sketchy, but this is what we currently know.

Mr. Rae celebrated Christmas with a group of friends at a cabin on Caddo Lake. 

Santa was good to Mr. Rae this year.  Inspired by the song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” Santa left 12 6-packs of beer under the Christmas tree for Billy Bob.  Mr. Rae spent most of Christmas day sampling his presents.

On Thursday morning Mr. Rae called the electrical contractor he was working for and requested sick leave due to a bad headache.  Witness reports say Mr. Rae recovered by noon and he and his friends consumed all his Christmas presents by early evening.  Mr. Rae’s friends decided to go home and declared Christmas a success. 

It is reported Mr. Rae told his friends that they were not half the man he was, and he said he was going to a local bar, have a few drinks, and find a hot woman to go to bed with.  He said that he was feelings lucky. 

The bartender said that Mr. Rae did have numerous beers that evening and did leave with “a date.”   Mr. Rae’s last words on leaving the bar were, “Honey you’re about to see sparks!”

Mr. Rae’s date told police that the two went to a nearby motel and had “wild sex” until early morning when they both fell asleep.

Rae’s date said they both woke when morning light spilled into the room.  The date continued, “When Billy Bob opened his eyes and they stared into each other’s eyes, Billy Bob screamed ‘My GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?’ His body shook and he collapsed.

Paramedics were unable to revive Mr. Rea.  The coroner believes that Mr. Rae died of a massive heart attack, but tests are pending.

Mr. Rae’s date, John Jones – age 63 – said that he had no idea what could have caused Mr. Rae’s heart attack.

Billy Bob Rae – dead at 56.  He did not die with his boots on, actually he died with nothing on, but he was a good man.  He loved his beer and his WOMEN!

Services are pending.

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