I am actively working on becoming a political consultant for the Democratic party. I know I can do a great job!
I had wanted to work for my President as a political consultant, but he has not responded to my letter/resume for over 6 months. I must assume that all the key Republican positions are filled.
If some of you are thinking, “why is he qualified to be a political consultant?” let me explain.
I have always considered myself an amoral person and I know all political consultants are amoral, so it appears to be a good fit. I have always been willing to do anything for a buck. Political consultants march to that same drummer.
I have references that demonstrate that I have spent most of my life trying to “screw” people. Political consultants spend all their time trying to “screw” with people’s minds. Another close match.
It should be clear by now I have all the characteristics needed to be a pc. Oh, and did I mention I am a good-looking, stable genus like you know who?
So, if the money is as good as I think it will be, I am ready to devote my life to the Democratic Party, except for an occasional fishing trip.
If anyone needs my help it is the Democratic Party – a political party that is headed for extinction at lighting speed.
In the past I have thought of Democrat’s as a bunch of wimps. I have changed my opinion. I now consider them a bunch of clueless wimps who don’t have the faintest idea of how to win an election.
Fortunately, assuming I can get hooked up with some wanna-be Democrat big shot the party would have a stable genus on their team and things would change.
For starters the Dems must forget a few things. Michell Obama coined the phrase, “When they go low, we go high.”
That is OUT! The Dems new slogan is, “When they go low, we go lower and grab them by the balls”. Assume there are still some Republicans, other than Trump, who still have balls; this would be a very effective technique.
The first thing that Dems need to do is make “gerrymandering” their friend. The Supreme Court has said that gerrymandering is bad, but it is legal. This means that the Dems need to out gerrymander the Gerrymanders. For year the states with Republican legislatures, have been drawn district maps that gave big advantages to the Republicans. The states with Democratic legislatures have appointed the independent commissions to draw “fair” maps.
Those days are over. To hell with fair maps. Throw out independent commissions. The Democrats must realize that days when being fair was the right thing to do are long done. The Republicans have demonstrated being unfair wins you seats and in today’s politics that is all that is important.
Fortunately for the Democrats, they can out gerrymander the Republicans if they play dirty. The reason that a cut-throat Democratic party can out-gerrymander the Republicans is that the states with Republican held legislatures are low-population states and the states with Democratic held legislatures are high-population states. So, these states have more elected federal representatives, therefore these states can do a more effective job of gerrymandering.
For example, let’s look at California that has a Democratic governor and both house of the legislature. The state has an independent commission to draw “fair” maps. As a result, there is a significant number of Republican congressmen from California. If California uses “Texas-style” gerrymandering most of those Republican seats can be eliminated and the Democrats can deliver one big boat load of Congress persons to the U.S. House for Representatives.
Democrats, you don’t have to be the political party that died. All you need to do is hire me and FIGHT DIRTY!
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