Why is Rep. Gohmert…well, such a presidential toady

By George Smith

Louis Gohmert is an enigma inside a puzzle wrapped in a mystery.

Just kidding. The elected U. S. representative of Texas’ First Congressional District is as easy to read as the kid’s book “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.”

This elected official simply needs to be needed, to be admired, to serve a higher power. He is one of President Trump’s most fervent and energetic public relations soothsayers. Due to his double-jointed ability to religiously bow, scrap and lick boots and posteriors all at the same time, he is a frequent guest on conservative television talk shows, radio and podcasts force-feeding conspiracy theories and right-wing pabulum. Inviting. Rep. Gohmert on a program is like tossing a slow curve to Barry Bonds back in the day…you know what’s going to happen.

In his role as Special Junior Deputy Assistant to the Senior Assistant Deputy Enabler of the President, it’s not surprising Gohmert has myriad opinions; it is no revelation that his opinions  just happen to mirror those expressed by the president. He is, in a phrase, Kellyanne Lite.

Louis Buller Gohmert, Jr., of course, tweets. (Doesn’t everybody?) He mainly tweets support for Trump, liking what he likes and hating what he hates which frequently includes anchor babies, terrorist babies, same sex marriage and, well, you know.

It is rumored that he occasionally has an independent thought but had therapy sessions to squelch those errant missives.. 

Gohmert has long been considered a loose-tongued Republican who is enamored with conspiracy theories and any rumor that is Clinton-related. He has, at various times, been castigated for his mouthings by fellow GOPers like the late John McCain, Marco Rubio, Scott Brown and John Boehner (who beat him like a dirty rug when Gohmert challenged him for Speaker of the House).

Gohment is not, by definition, a laughingstock in political circles, he is an entire season of “Oddball Comics” on the Comedy Channel.

He has at various times let his tongue cover up his eyeteeth so he could not see what he was saying; unfortunately, his words live on in infamy.


  • Gohmert was on Fox News in a panel discussion about the international influence of Google on world affairs when he popped off with an unrelated and derogatory allegation about Holocaust survivor, philanthropist and Democratic candidate supporter George Soros. Of course, the allegation made right-wingers giddy for days. The fact that the allegation was simply not true created a need for a Fox news apology for Gohmert’s “false allegations” against Soros.
  • Three years ago, according to news reports, he said that the U.S. should not use resources fighting LGBTQ equality measures because “We’d never choose a same-sex couple to help populate the moon.” Ooooooookay.
  • In a rant about limiting the number of bullets in a magazine, Gohmert said why draw “the line at 10/ What’s wrong with nine? Or eleven? It’s kind of like marriage when you say it’s not a man and woman any more, then why not have three men and one woman or four women and one man or why not somebody have a love for an animal.”

This is the elected official that said we can’t have gays in the military because they’d be like the Greeks and give each other “massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you’re not going to last very long.”

          Rep. Gohment seems to be in a constant state of consternation. He sees liberal bugaboos and terrorists and an undermining of democracy everywhere he looks; followers of his Bizarro World thinking patterns are amazed he doesn’t have whiplash from all the head-snapping.

      Gohmert is a lawyer so it is surprising he never considers he needs evidenced to back up his claims of will o’ the wisp actions by dastardly Demos or terrorist cells ready to pounce. Of course, like his Supreme Leader, making outrageous statements without substantiating evidence is part of their normal workday; they both know that certain elements of Fox News and other conservative outlets will give them a pass and forum to push the story.

How out of touch with reality is he? He once nominated Florida Rep. Allen West for Speaker of the House. The only problem was West had been defeated for re-election.

It’s time for a change, East Texas. I grew up in East Texas in his district and now live in Arkansas. The embarrassment for East Texas that I feel is as strong as pure grain alcohol even 45 mile east of the Texas state line.

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