Play Like

By George Smith

Okay, let’s play a childhood game: “Play-like”.

You remember it if your childhood days were spent in the 1950s and ‘60s: Play-like you are a princess or a Knight  of the Round Table or a rock singer or a movie star: That was the whole premise of the game.

I am, right this instant, playing this game: Play-like I am President Donald Trump.

Okay, cool! I am one of the most powerful humans on Earth; I am rich and married to a super-hot former soft-porn model who is, by all accounts, a dedicated mother.

I am also an abysmally poor liar, popping out  jaw-dropping untruths with the regularity of a kitten with diarrhea.

I open my mouth and I lie; I use my pointer finger or opposable thumbs to dash off 10 tweets a day and lie.

And my lies are of the pre-K variety, you know, lying about not taking a cookie when you have an oatmeal mustache on your face.

As president, my lies have substance and can literally adversely affect relationships with invaluable allies or even undermine basic tenets of democracy.

Listen up: I did not attend the G-7 discussion on climate change because I had important meetings with the leaders of Germany and India. 

What? Both leaders were at the meeting? Well, I just got my times messed up. 

I was actually on a phone call with China setting up important trade talks.
Say huh? China said there was no phone call? Well, there was one and I was holding the phone and talking tough, so I ought to know.

I don’t lie and anyone who claims I do, THEY are lying.

Oh, before I forget, big news: I played golf this morning and shot a 71. Yeppers, it’s great to be me.

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